Ode to A Silent Serenade - Ten Years of Fallen Love

Ready to shut the door to my heart and focus on myself. But may I close with a letter to ten years of love and loss.

Dear V,

I hope you're still alive. Careless adolescence, our deciduous love never to survive. Overly dramatic we were. Dark and depressed.

Dear K,

Laying on the floor, completely oblivious to the spinning world. You. Fell asleep swimming into the deepest depths of your eyes. Forever to regret not holding tighter, not clenching on to your soul with all my strength. You slipped away by morning. In the midst of my mourning. I opened my fist to find mere beads of perspiration. Empty.

Dear downtown shadowed light,

My mentor, my teacher, my gallant knight. You lifted, mended my gutted soul. Graceful and temperate. With patience and consistent smiles. Thank you for waiting. listening. guiding. You helped me fly.

Dear S,

My comfort, my energy, my wall. Reconstructed the topography of this ruptured heart. My Tylenol. You held tight as I kicked and screamed. Banged and smashed. Allowed me to breathe, grow. Such a tactful revenge as your ardor dimmed. Uncompromising, unwilling. Shut off.

Dear H,

I apologise for the rejection. Lack of love, my disconnection. I apologise for crushing our future to run deep into a dream. Still, I read every letter. Every poem.

Dear W,

Precarious and sure, I foolishly followed your chivalrous lure. A perfect match as our bodies dissolved into one. Surreal. But this mystical and staggering dream backlashed into the foreshadowed nightmare. Dissolution. Woke up from a nonsensical state of mind, facing the heartbreaking reality. Deceptive love.

Picture taken in Cartagena, Colombia

Listen, believe. Conform and Follow. Devote each day to faith alone - reality is non-negotiable. Painful and ruthless. Unforgivable.
Hold on! Injustice will blow the soul away.
Bow down! To an intangible sense of security.
Listen. Listen and hear a sweet nothing in your ear.
Believe. Silent whispers.

Picture taken on Hollywood Blvd in California

"Long has paled that sunny sky:

Echoes fade and memories die:

Autumn frosts have slain July.

In a Wonderland they lie,

Dreaming as the days go by,

Dreaming as the summers die:

Ever drifting down the stream --

Lingering in the golden gleam --

Life what is it but a dream?" -Lewis Carroll

Picture taken in Parque Tyrona, Colombia

Welcome to my state of mind. A vivid encounter with my conscience self.
Where dreams and reality mesh together in a confusing swirl,
Where thoughts, memories, and future aspirations collide.
Truthful and confused, yet simple with a complexity that not even I can comprehend.
Where extremities of a bi-polar-like sense of brain destruction
and a sweet stillness of delightful meditation
interlock and chat over a cup of tea.
Such a lushful and lustful waste of a mind
swimming through the unknown,
and swirling deeper into a drain of despair.
Welcome.

Picture taken in Disneyland, California

it's the end of the world, and so they say. it's about that time
for insanity and swine, for planets to align.
waves and quakes, we are deliriously doomed. for heavens, for gods, for all of humanity sakes!
oh, but how we love to fear. of leaning on the brink of death. to stand so viciously near.
and when it's all over and we are still around, we can proclaim, without such shame,
in a pathetic smirk, "we survived. thank you, jesus,
we survived."
how mechanical we are.
how utterly deprived.

Picture taken downtown Los Angles, California